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Fall '05
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Winter '07
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Spring '07 : Summer
'07 : Fall '07 : Winter
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Dear Catherine,
My question is about right livelihood and more specifically about
right money. I inherited some investments from my parents, and those
investments are in some industries that I really don’t feel good
about. However, they provide me with some nice dividends and pay
the bills. In this crumbling economy, I am reluctant to give them
up and sell them, but I don’t feel good about how I am able to live
this way. Do you have any advice? ~ RC, Los Angeles
Dear RC,
When and if the discomfort of compromise becomes greater than the
reward of creature comforts, you will make a change. The first step
in that process is awareness of the disparity between your values
and your actions; this you have exhibited in writing this letter.
Some people live with compromise to the end of their days while,
for others, compromise becomes unbearable. At that point, one might
be open to solutions that had not been previously considered and
don’t involve as much sacrifice as was feared—or one might even
accept great sacrifice in outward comforts in order to live more
comfortably in one’s own skin. Time will tell for you. ~ Catherine
Dear Catherine,
I have just returned from a trip with someone who had been a friend
for many years in the area where we both live. However, I have discovered
that I didn’t really know her until we traveled together and what
I came to know of her in such close quarters made me feel that I
don’t want to have anything to do with her now that we are back.
I don’t think I can ever see her in the way that I used to. It is
as though a mask were peeled back and the real person behind that
mask is someone entirely different than the person I thought I knew.
The problem is that, though we had a few spats on the trip, she
thinks all is the same as before. Do I tell her that it is best
that we not continue our friendship? ~ LP, San Francisco
Dear LP,
It may not be necessary to explicitly express feelings of estrangement
at this point. Perhaps with time your engagement with this person
will find its natural rhythm of contact, whether that is less than
it once was or even none at all. But for now, fresh off the trip
of unpleasant memories, it might be good to just take a break without
cutting off the relationship entirely. If it becomes necessary to
formally end all contact with her, it would be best to do so when
your heart and mind are quiet in the matter and a balance of good
memories from former times is accessible to you again. ~ Catherine
Dear Catherine,
I am in my final months at UC Berkeley and now have to figure out
what I am going to do next. I don’t know which direction to turn
because I don’t believe there is much of a future if we don’t address
the environmental problems we face, and I don’t see any of the leaders
talking about the kinds of changes that are needed. Even the best
of the political leaders don’t seem very dialed in to the massive
scope of the problem and what it is going to mean for my generation
and the rest behind us. It makes ideas like getting a job or having
a family seem really beside the point. I am not really a depressed
person but my friends and I all sort of feel pretty hopeless about
the future. ~ JZ, Berkeley
Dear JZ,
I often think about your generation and the problems you have inherited
due to the greed and ignorance of the previous generations. It is
best not to dwell in blame as the evolutionary awareness that could
address those problems was just not there yet. Please take heart
in knowing that things can change more quickly than you might imagine,
so don’t assume the worst. There is no certainty about how this
will go. In the meantime, live your wonderful life in the present
and have gratitude for all that you love and enjoy. None of us,
no one in time, has ever had any guarantees of safety or longevity.
Let your own proclivities and interests take you where they will.
Keep your heart and mind open, live lightly, and don’t think too
much about the future. ~ Catherine
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